Bend The Knee- Matt Hoss GOT blog

BEND THE KNEE – Episode 6 Beyond THE WALL Hello? Anyway, fuck the intro – here is episode 6. Suicide Squad (But without any Jokers) Is this the way to Amarillo? No – it’s the way to having 7 burly men walk in frosty silence, probably to their deaths. It is the super group we have all been waiting for: The Magnificently Incompatible 7. They are all like a superhero squad as they have different superpowers and abilities. Jon Snow: He’s the leader and has the power to have daddy issues and avoid death a lot. The Hound: The power to swear a lot and eat chicken.  Jorah: The power of unrequited love and a lot of self-pity. Tormund: The power to have a big beard. Gendry: The power to be young and have a big hammer (like Thor) Thoros: The power to bring people back to life. Beric: The Power to be brought back to life (and has a cool sword) Jon breaks the ice (literally) by asking Gendry “Have you ever been North of the Wall before?”. Gendry s...

BEND THE KNEE: Series 7 Episode 5: EASTWATCH Welcome back! Great to have you back to Bend The Knee (as Dany is desperate for Lannister soldiers and Kings to do). We have another week or mirth, fire and plotholes (The three gifts I received by the Three wise men on my birthday).   Spoilers ahead. Also if you enjoy this, please leave a comment and share. It'd be well appreciated! BaeWatch We jump straight back in (like Bronn did into the lake) to where we left off in the last episode. Bronn gives Jaime  hastily improvised swimming lessons by pushing him out of the way of dragon’s fire and miraculously saves him. They drag themselves onto the sand, and barely make it out alive. Apart from the coughing up water and decimation of their army – they seem to be having a lovely, romantic day out together. They look like as if they’re recreating the beginning of ‘Grease’ where Danny and Sandy are making out on the beach – which works well as Danny sa...

Bend The Knee: Series 7 Episode 4  The Spoils Of War By Matt Hoss www.matthosscomedy.com Game Of Thrones is increasingly becoming harder and harder to write for. What was meant to be a short blog, has now turned into an epic odyssey (larger and longer than the books some may say) as so much content happens every week. This week was unrelenting and barbaric, like Sandor Clegane at KFC buffet. Let’s get our Spoils of war Spoilers, once again. High and Low gardens Jaime is on the road again after sacking Highgarden and eradicating the Tyrells. Come on Jaime, their crisps aren’t that bad. The Lannisters had taken all of the Tyrell gold (that they had earned from the crisps) and they need to use it for their own gain. Admittedly Jaime wants to use it to fund his debut rap album “Bitchez In Tha Gene Pool” under his pseudonym Golden Spank . Unfortunately for Westeros, this money is going to pay for the debts and the back of the Iron Bank. The Lannisters alwa...